Thursday, June 23, 2011

More life lessons from animals

Sometimes, it's okay if all you did today was pet a cat.


Pets can be messy. They can be expensive. They can be pesky and needy and intrusive. But, sometimes, pets really help make life more bearable than it would be without them.

My parents have four cats and a dog. They drive me crazy on a regular basis. But most of the time, even when I'm mad at them, part of me is still thankful that they're there.

I typically find it a bit annoying when people glorify their relationships with their pets as though the devotion and loyalty that their animals show them qualify these relationships as being somehow superior to the more complicated relationships they have with other humans. That's so simple minded, I think. It reflects self centered-ness and an unwillingness to extend oneself on behalf of others (though, I realize, there are situations where an ill, traumatized, or otherwise unstable person may find this sort of uncomplicated companionship to be a therapeutic stand-in for more emotionally or psychologically demanding human relationships). No matter how well-trained they are or how much you enjoy their company, animals are not people.

Still, there is something to be learned from the unexacting, nonjudgmental company my cats offer me when I'm feeling less than wonderful. People are not always the best comforters. We have lots of different ideas, perspectives, and opinions and all of these have a way of of expressing themselves, even when we're not necessarily conscious of it. I know that, on occasions where I've been depressed or upset about something, I've refrained from speaking about it with certain friends simply because I could imagine how they would respond. And I know of friends of mine who have kept their thoughts and struggles secret from me for the same reasons. Sometimes, the best support you can offer a friend is to just be there and not judge, but the only way you can really do that effectively is to never judge at all. For me, that's hard work. I can learn a lot from my cats about how to be a better friend.


Thanks, cats.

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