Plans Change

When it comes to new year's resolutions, I have a pretty solid track record: every December 31, I make a handful of them and then, come February, I've completely forgotten what it was I was so resolved to do. It must be my subconscious refusing to subject me to such an essentially self-berating ritual. I mean, isn't a list of new year's resolutions just an ugly reminder of all the things I ought to be doing anyway but guiltily avoid because I just don't feel like doing them?

So this year I'm going easy on myself. Yes, I'm still going to make some resolutions (I can't help it! I love traditions!), but none of the goals/personal challenges listed below fall under the category of "things I'm not doing now that I ought to be doing." And perhaps the act of writing them out and posting them in a public place will extend my memory's longevity at least until spring.

In 2011, I'm not going to cut my hair. Okay, I might get a little haircut some time this month so that I don't look too scruffy for my sister's wedding, but after that, it's gonna be au naturel.

I won't purchase any clothes. That includes shoes and hair accessories. I did this once before and I found it to be a refreshing furlough from my usual patterns of consumerism as well as a healthy reminder that having new clothes on a regular basis is not a necessity but a luxury. It also encourages me to be more creative with what I already have.

I will maintain a regular exercise routine. This sounds like the most cliché of sure-fail new year's resolutions, but I'm including it because it's something that I've already implemented. A week and a half ago, I purchased a membership at a local gym and I've been meeting with a trainer to learn how to structure my workouts and how to use the entirely unfamiliar exercise equipment. It's been fun and I'm determined to stick with it.

For now, I'm satisfied to leave it at just these three resolutions. I am intentionally avoiding making any specific educational or vocational goals at this time. Two months ago, I wrote out a Plan (the details of which I judiciously declined to publicly announce) that I believed would carry me through the month of March and beyond. I followed the guidelines of that plan for November and December when I sought out seasonal employment with UPS, but, somewhere along the way, I realized that the next segment of the plan--the part where I start laying the groundwork for my Future--just didn't feel right. I'm just not ready to commit tens of thousands of dollars to an educational endeavor that I don't feel at least a little more excited and confident about. So I'm not going to go to graduate school. At least not yet. Phew. Glad I got that out of the way.

But I do have some other ideas and I spy new potential pursuits on the horizon. Some of them do pertain to my Future but mostly they are concerned with my present situation; which is actually pretty exciting because, for just about as long as I can remember, my personal perception of spacetime has been focused on just about anywhere and anytime except for here and now.

This is not to say that anything big has happened or any momentous change has taken place. I'm very quick to have a sudden novel idea and then tout it confidently as my raison d'etre, only to later regret having made such bold and underresearched claims about myself. I'm just going to keep on living, doing stuff, making stuff, and--as far as my capacity for self-motivation will permit--writing about it on this blog.