It's a quarter past nine in the morning and suddenly it hits me: I completely forgot to update my blog yesterday!
Something must be done. The temptation to watch Netflix must be conquered. This blog must be a priority.
I am sorry.
Yesterday, I went with my sister to try on wedding dresses. She and her boyfriend of one million years are tying the knot on January 30, 2011. With my moral support, she was able to find a dress that she is really enthusiastic about. One more item officially checked off of a very long to-do list.
Being around all this wedding business lately, with both my little sisters getting married within six months of each other, has certainly abstracted me further away than ever from the notion that I have much in common with my siblings. I just can't seem to connect with the mindset of The Bride--the compulsory veneration of dresses and engagement rings. After she picked out her dress, Lindsay told me about a wedding gown shop in La Jolla, California where, after a bride decides on a dress, they uncork a bottle of champagne. Brilliant customer relations ploy but, seriously? And, okay, maybe they are doing it a bit ironically, but c'mon...there's something very weird going on here, an enchantment that has collectively flourished in the minds of millions of young couples across the nation. Somehow, hoards of soon-to-be brides (and the friends and families who support them) have espoused the notion that a few hours of one day are not only worth pouring thousands of dollars into, but also that the mundane details of said hours must, accordingly, be regarded with both enthusiasm and respect by all parties involved.
I'm not trying to be cynical here. I'm not anti-marriage, or even anti-wedding, for that matter. But I, at this point in my life, seem to be incapable of mustering the enthusiasm for the particulars of the wedding ceremony that seems to be expected of me. This public confession is sure to come back to haunt me. Humbly I submit that maybe I'm just immature and I'll change my mind about all this once it's my time to get hitched. For the time being, however, I'm inconveniently aloof.
Weddings can be terrible. But they are also special, even sacred. But the maudlin goo of marketing obscures for many people what the special/sacred part is. Is it inviting at least 100 people? Is it matching dresses for these few friends of mine I've singled out? Is it having a cake? Is it having a dress? It takes a lot of energy to throw a classy party, and wedding receptions are definitely that, but after all there is nothing in the law that says the signing of a marriage license must be followed by a huge to-do with an open bar. I think part of it is that modern American culture often equates "celebrate" with "spend as much as they'll let you," and we're afraid that we're not making a big enough deal about it if we don't absolutely exhaust our resources--financial, mental, spirtual, emotional--in preparing for it.
ReplyDeleteBut a wise person has said, dif'rent strokes for dif'rent folks. Which I think is about right. And the pendulum will probably/already is swinging away from extravagance to simplicity, I think. At least, there's a blog about it.
I can pontificate more about weddings if you care to hear, but it should probably be in email format.
What's that you say? Am I supposed to be working on a paper tonight, and is that why I'm scouring your blog and leaving you comments? Why, yes, I am and yes, it is! :)
Vicky, I would indeed like to hear more of your thoughts on weddings (Sorry for the delayed response...I don't receive notifications when people comment on my blog...maybe I should change that...). Since my sister's wedding turned out to be the best party I've ever attended, my displeasure at the amount of time/money/enthusiasm that goes into wedding planning in general is somewhat less severe. Sure, many aspects of wedding preparation are absolutely hellish. But how many times in life do you have the chance to throw a big glamorous party and invite all your dearest friends and relatives? For most people, only one.
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